Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Watching her eat just hurts me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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