What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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