she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
