so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize