Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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