You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ttyl tear gas
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
