we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
