Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
