the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
