Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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