it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
