i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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