Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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