What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
