had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
