do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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