you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
