Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
