make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
