Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
