You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
