Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
