so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
