Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
