how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Its about making memories worth repressing
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
