At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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