We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
