I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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