his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
