i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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