why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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