she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
