Someone shit on the floor
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
