I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
