i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
