I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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