booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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