Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my poor anus
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
