Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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