Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
