return my video game
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
