I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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