you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
