I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize