I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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