Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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