he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize