he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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