6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
