Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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