Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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