Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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