My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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