If that was your dad, he is hot
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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