big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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