There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
