I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
