I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
