i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
