You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
