1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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