Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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