Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize