so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
