Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're too hungover to prance.
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