im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
