I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
