i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
