Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
