I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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