You're so nebulous sometimes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
