He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
