this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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