We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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