You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
