You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
