Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
