It's like God shit irony all over that family
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My ass is underappreciated
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
