He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My vagina just clenched in fear
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
