I'm jealous of your bromance
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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