we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
